The feedback debate

There’s a lot of debate out there at the moment around feedback, particularly in light of Marcus Buckingham and Ashely Goodall’s recent book Nine Lies About Work.  In it they put forward the claim that giving people feedback (in the sense of telling people what you think they’re doing right or wrong) is never worthwhile, an argument that seems in part an antidote to the current corporate trend of embracing fierce workplace conversations, coined ‘Radical Candor’ by the ex-Google manager Kim Scott.  Headline grabbing soundbites over-simplify their respective views (which are not always all that polar), but our preoccupation with feedback and how best to give it shows what an important and difficult skill it is to master.  Below are some thoughts and tips I’ve found useful both as a leader and when encouraging others to have better quality feedback conversations with the people they lead.

Ask for feedback

If you want to encourage a feedback culture in your team, and by that, I mean a culture where people are open to sharing their views and listening to the views of others, then you won’t go far wrong by starting with yourself.  By asking for feedback from the people you lead you achieve a number of things.  First, you show that you value other people’s opinions.  That’s not to say you have to agree with those opinions, but everyone has their own take on reality, and getting the benefit of several perspectives from which to make an independent choice has to be better than just your own view with all its personal bias.  Secondly you establish talking about performance as a cultural norm, and not one that operates one way.  You also get to experience first-hand the ways people go about giving feedback and how that makes you feel.  What motivates, what stings, what inspires and what irritates?  And perhaps most importantly what makes you listen?  The answers to these questions can help you hone your own style when you’re the one providing the feedback.

It’s not about winning

Remember what feedback is for – it isn’t about winning.  Feedback, both praise and criticism, should be used as a basis for some kind of improvement. As a leader, if winning the argument is your aim, there are only two outcomes:  you lose, or you win – in which case you’re left managing a team of losers.  All too often, people approach difficult conversations as if they’re about to have a showdown on opposing sides of a political debate, anticipating disagreement and arming themselves with verbal grenades.  Going into the conversation with humility, being prepared to listen, asking yourself what preconceptions you may have, and aiming to find a better way rather than being right will stand you in better stead.

It is personal

Most feedback models recommend an approach whereby we stick to the facts, remain non-judgmental and avoid getting personal, for example, pointing out that someone’s work is not good enough, not that they’re not good enough.  This makes sense to a point – attacking someone’s character isn’t likely to set a conducive tone for a constructive conversation, and someone’s latest presentation doesn’t define them.  But at the same time feedback is all about sharing your judgment of events or things, and how you (and perhaps others in your estimation) feel. Furthermore, who are we if not what we do?  Is our work not partly indicative of who we are as people?  It’s precisely because our work is personal that people have the potential to be so upset or offended by criticism.  It’s also why we avoid criticising people’s work – we don’t want to upset them, and we don’t want them to dislike us.  Feedback in work is deeply personal because it shows you care about people doing better, even if that risks you being unpopular.  The challenge is to deliver feedback with clarity and tact – a balancing act that requires skill and practise.

Stop underestimating praise

One of the questions I ask when delivering feedback workshops for managers is how comfortable they feel providing people with positive and negative feedback.  It’s a simple rough and ready exercise with a rating on a 0-10 scale.  Note that the question asks how comfortable they feel providing feedback, not how good they are at it.  Nearly everybody rates themselves as feeling more comfortable providing positive feedback than negative and that might not seem too surprising.  After all, who doesn’t find it easier to pay someone a compliment than challenge something they’ve said or done?  But for everyone that finds it easier to praise, they might want to ask their direct reports how good they are at providing it.  As leaders, sometimes we only see problems, taking for granted all the good work that goes on every day.  We agonise over the right words to choose when delivering negative feedback but make do with off the cuff ‘well dones’ or belated ‘thank yous’ for great work, or worse still, gushing praise for mediocrity.  Take the time to make your praise as balanced, clear, detailed and meaningful as possible so your people can learn to do more of the things they do really well, even better.

Practise!

How to give constructive feedback is one of leadership’s oldest and deliberated topics. Ultimately, whilst models and theories can help, no one size fits all approach works for every situation or event, but one thing is pretty clear – you need to use it because your people need it. Research in a recent study showed that employees receiving predominantly negative feedback from their manager were over twenty times more likely to be engaged that those receiving little or no feedback.  Why is that?  Well, its partly because when you comment on what someone’s done, even if what you’re saying is negative, at least they know you’re paying attention to what they do!  By contrast, withholding feedback results in employee apathy.  The ability to have great feedback conversations is invaluable, and a cornerstone to many other leadership skills, requirements, and behaviours.  Only by practising will you hone your own authentic approach.  If you share your views and listen to others in order for everyone to improve, people will allow some rough edges along the way. Keep practising.

If you think your leaders would like to increase their ability and confidence in having great feedback conversations, visit www.sapiencoaching.com or drop an email to info@sapiencoaching.com